Some things are hard to let go of – especially when they’ve taken root and flourished. I have both weeds and roses, both of which, under the right circumstances, have thrived.
I’ll keep the roses for their beauty – tend them so they don’t die – admire them and find some sweet nostalgia in them.
The weeds, I’ve started a battle against. They’re unkind to beauty, hard on the soil of memories and frankly, not what I’d like to see growing in me.
I’m keeping my roses. They’ve been hard fought. Weeds will always come and go but my roses are most precious. I’m trying to love them for the fact that they are rather than considering the when, where and who of how they came to be.
I’m a great one for too much thinking. I walk the line between pondering and ruminating constantly and rarely do I stay on the side of the former. 2010 hasn’t been the best of years for some things. Three quarters of the way through and I’m a little concerned for what’s to come. I speak peace though. It’s what my family, heart and soul need.
In March this year, I miscarried and lost, literally, a bit of hope. October has come; it has me wondering what would have been by now and feeling that sweet ache that makes my eyes run. With those thoughts an age has ended. It’s time for new things. Hope has rarely eluded me.
I could choose to not think about many things but I’ve always been a dreamer. I dwell inside myself – I know where things are and how things work there. So I’m dreaming in retrospect for now. Until things become clearer on the outside, I’m staying in.
I began writing this late last night while listening to Moyenne’s live recording at the Cipriani Labour College. I sketched till early this morning. I wish you were here to soothe me.
Be good and keep on the lovely side of this life,
Also, for those of you who have never heard Chantel Esdelle’s voice or Moyenne perform, do yourselves a favour and make that happen.